The Face ·· 04.00 ·· Q&A Chris Cunningham ·· Alex Needham How's your film career going? It's coming on fine, it's just moving along very carefully. I'm working on a script that I'm writing myself, and in the background I'm working with William Gibson on an adaptation of Neuromancer. The script's my priority - it's all about sex and my childhood. I just grew up in a mad village, basically, with a lot of inbred mutants. There was one kid who actually thought he was a monkey. He just ran around making monkey noises and trying to grab girls' arses. And he'd set fire to anything. How much cash did you make from the PlayStation advert? I think I earned about £30,000. We did versions of it in six different languages, to go round the world. The German version was fucking hilarious, just really brutal. Everything sounded so aggressive and rude. The girl sounded like she was going to get out of the chair and stab you after she'd finished her monologue. If I gave you £100,000 to make an advert for Toilet Duck, would you do it? I've been offered a lot more money than that for a lot more quality products than that, and I still haven't done them. I can't say which ones - the advertising people think I'm a snob as it is. During London Fashion Week we saw you with Björk at the Alexander McQueen show. What was that all about? That was enough showbiz to last me a decade. I was so nervous I hardly noticed any of the clothes. There were a couple of beautiful moonboots I saw which I liked, but I can't imagine spending that much money on a pair of furry boots. I just wear the same clothes year in, year out - a pair of jeans that I bought in Camden Market and loads of jumpers. It's pretty unhygienic. I'm trying to sort my life out at the moment and get into things like regular underpant-washing sessions. But it's taking me a bit of a while. What did you want to be when you were at school? Not skinny and pale, but it never worked out - I still am. I used to get called Milkbottle at school. I grew my hair when I was about 17, because I looked like Rick Astley as well. I thought, "Fuck this, I don't want to look like Rick Astley any more." But then he grew his hair long. Have you been DJing much recently? No. The last time I did it was at The End. It was supposed to be a night of experimental music and I just played loads of rave, so I didn't get invited back. Next time, I'm going to be belligerent and play loads of musique concrete. That's definitely ensure there'll be no one dancing. When was the last time you were drunk? About a month ago. I'm not a big drinker, to be honest. I normally drink whatever the person sitting next to me's drinking - I've got no imagination when it comes to booze. When I'm drunk, I'm very immature and slightly violent. I play jokes on my friends like pushing them in front of cabs and things. A few drinks and I revert back to being a five-year-old. What's the stupidest thing anyone's said about your work? Trevor Nelson had me in stitches with what he said about the 'Windowlicker' video. He was absolutely hysterical. I was with Richard [James, ie Aphex Twin] when I saw the programme Trevor was on when he said those things, and we were pissing ourselves. But the most stupid thing that people can say is that I'm just trying to shock. Most things I don't give a monkey's about, but I find that really insulting. You get four months of hard work reduced down to that comment... but people can say what they want, really. How far is too far? Well, I think someone emptying a 12-grade shotgun into a pram would be pretty harrowing. There's loads of things I don't like to see - I turn my head away from the screen when someone gets an injection. Those programmes of people having operations are enough to make me go really unnecessary. So I suppose I have to respect people who think that a girl with a beard is offensive or something. What would tempt you to make another music video? I haven't given up music videos forever - just for now. If a track came along that totally blew me away and made me come up with an idea that I really wanted to do. I think I'd have trouble not doing it. I'm lucky at the moment, because I want to concentrate on other things for a little - and it just so happens that there is absolutely fuck all good music out there, so I don't feel like I'm missing out. Have you read the book Madonna bought you, How To Massage Your Dog? No - I've looked at the pictures, though. I haven't got a dog. Is that an example of her sense of humour? I think she thinks I need to be mothered. She sends me clothes every now and then. Not underpants, no. I'm embarrassed, because she bought me a coat once and then I fucking shrunk it. Did she enjoy the Rephlex night you took her to at the Sound Shaft? I think so, although they stuck a Madonna song on the second she went through the door. I don't think she danced, either. Tell us the contents of your pockets A receipt from Boots. I popped in to buy Beecham's powders and some johnnies. Which is the better video: 'Thriller' or 'Bohemian Rhapsody'? 'Thriller' - I love it. I'd have to say my favourite video is Robert Palmer, 'Addicted to Love', though. Why? It was teenage wank-fuel. Before I got my hands on a porn vid, Robert Palmer videos had to do. Are your twin obsessions still robots and porn? I'd say that was a bit of an oversimplification. What do you think about to stop yourself coming? I usually think about swarth that comes off lathes when you're machining aluminium. Or Ted Rogers from 3-2-1.